you may read this and roll your eyes. but you and i both know. you've done this. sure you have. no? well perhaps not to the extent that i did the mix tape. i'll give you that. but, and here it's me who has to face facts, no one punctuates quite like me. you'd think i'd have grown out of the sudden welling up in tears of sadness, overwhelment (totally a word), frustration, that accentuate my emotional state like an exclamation mark. i should have grown out of this. and yet, no. not a chance.
and perhaps it's the fault of the mix tape. all that late 80s and 90s cultivating of melancholy. all the intensity of feeling generated by the lyrics. how did the songwriter know exactly how i was feeling? the drum beat. the minor chord. and the unspoken knowledge that the singers had big hair and, if not actual shoulder pads, they had shoulder pads on the inside.
i would put together a mix tape of angsty tunes just to make myself feel bad after a break up. I believe i even referred to the tape as the break up compilation tape. Or BUCT. actually i never called it BUCT. i just did that now in some kind of wild attempt to distract you from the ludicrousness of what i'm expressing. i remember on one occasion...and actually this is the only occasion i remember, but i am sure it was not an isolated incident given the presence of the aforementioned punctuating to this day which is clearly the product of over-stimulation of the emotions...anyway, on this one occasion i was driving on the open road to join friends for the weekend, mix tape blaring, sinead o'connor belting out nothing compares to you, or perhaps it was the cranberries with some equally plaintive irish lament, tears streaming down my face. and who knows now who the person was who had provoked the whole mix tape scenario. probably no one in particular. i was probably just working those muscles of hyperbolic loss. in case i needed them later.
the mix tape
ho hey. the lumineers
carrying your love with me. George Strait
dream a little dream of me. Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong
all the world. Brighter later
kiss me. Sixpence none the richer
when your mind's made up. Glen Hansard (from the Once soundtrack)
what life could be. Flip Grater
singing in my soul. Fly my pretties.
little things. Trinity Roots
days are long, nights are longer. Tiny Ruins
la valse d'Amelie, Yann Tierson (from the Amelie Soundtrack)
and a little bit of country.