It is not the critic who counts

 “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Citizen in a Republic, Theodore Roosevelt’s speech delivered at the Sorbonne, Paris, 23^rd April 1910

Making the decision to leap into the void is not one I have made easily. It has been a few years in the making. I am not a risk-taker. In fact, I once did one of those tests to see how much of a risk-taker I actually am. And no. I'm not one of those. More conservative than the Queen of Conservative Land.

So. Risk averse.

And I don’t like failing.

I have always thought that in choosing to do a PhD in Medieval French literature, that I had chosen the road less travelled. But then I became a French teacher and I have been waving my arms around and doing stand-up comedy routines in a desperate attempt to impart frenchiness to teenage girls for 15 years now. This is not a less-travelled road at all. It is a safe road. I am good at teaching French, at least most days I am good at it. And, without any wish to sound arrogant, it is easy to get French-teaching jobs when you have a PhD. People are lulled into all sorts of delirium when they see a Doctorate. So really I have never put myself in a position where I could fail.

I feel like there’s something else. As I said, I have felt like this for a while. It feels as though this something else is creative and connected and challenging. I can’t quite see exactly what it is, but it’s around writing and talking to people and making things happen.

So often it happens that when you name something…a thought, a desire…when you name it and start looking towards that thing, everywhere you look there are people or projects or really well articulated ideas that support the thing you are giving your attention to.

Last night I went to a Dumbo Feather Conversation. Dumbo Feather is a magazine that celebrates extraordinary people and shares the conversations the interviewer has with them. Their conversation series is about lifting these chats from their beautifully recycled paper pages and bringing them to life.

Last night the conversation was with Clare Bowditch. Clare is a singer, an actor and the founder of Big Hearted Business, an initiative which seeks to “support and educate big-hearted people from all walks of life in the art of making a living doing what you love, while taking care of yourself AND contributing to the world in some meaningful way”.

Clare made some valuable points in the thread of her conversation with Dumbo Feather editor, Berry Liberman. She talked about the importance of accepting that it is hard to strike out on your own and try something new and explore your talent. Our offerings will not always be accepted or appreciated. But we have to be patient and persevere and choose who we listen to. She is not the only person to have given me this advice. Someone very important to me has also taken a lot of time and care to talk me through this. It helps to hear things several times from different quarters. She also talked about surrounding ourselves with good people, people on our wavelength who will nurture and encourage, be willing to listen and if needed, offer advice. She stressed the importance of never being afraid to ask for help.

I recently read an article about Leonard Cohen who has drawn similar conclusions to Clare over the course of his very long career. Leonard Cohen is 80 years old and he has just released his thirteenth studio album. For Cohen, it seems, work ethic outweighs our notion of inspiration. He writes all the time. By no stretch of the imagination does everything that he writes make it into something that he ends up singing. He dismisses the idea that inspiration is fast and easy and that those with talent have an easy ride, and argues that we should never quit before we know what it is we are quitting.

I need to listen to the people who have been provided to me, take hold of the opportunities and possibilities which constantly present themselves, strive valiantly, dare greatly and breathe.

It’s a new adventure.