Today I said goodbye to the little dog.
And despite the holes and the pee on the carpet, I will miss him.
Sometimes you don't realise how good something is and how much you really need something until it is gone. I knew he was cute and clever and he liked seeing me when I came in the door. But I understand now that looking after this little dog wasn't so much what he did for me, as what he brought out in me and I will miss that possibility. I think I felt a little inadequate, leaving him for long periods of time and getting annoyed at his impatience to just be out with me, walking and being in the world together. It was always an adventure, full of possibilities for him, but I was mindful of the road and other dogs and impending dark. I felt as though I didn't really give him what he needed.
He isn't mine and he will love being back in his home with his people and all that is familiar.
I do appreciate the time.
Thank you, little dog. I am happy for our last walk and cuddle.