Ortographobia

Does spelling matter? Many would say no. There have been emails circulating since 2003 citing apparent research which shows that as long as you get the first and last letters right, the reader can understand what you mean. The obvious flaw in the evidence provided was that the writer didn't stick to the first and last letter rule anyway and the obvious lie in the evidence was that it wasn't evidence at all, given that NO SUCH RESEARCH EXISTED.

Does spelling matter, given that we have spell checkers? And does spelling matter more than creativity? There is a rag-tag fleet of educational reformists who claim that insisting on correct spelling stifles the creative process and that it is far better to allow the flow than to get caught up on the correct orthography. I frown at this. Is there not such a thing as a creative writing process, whereupon the creative cherub is free to flow wherever they like and record their incredible thoughts in one big long word if that's what gets their juices going? Is this not, perhaps, a draft? And then could we not then later, once the cherub is lying spent on the floor, dripping with the emotional perspiration that only comes from unchecked creativity, correct the spelling?

Maybe it's me, but I'd be thwarted from full appreciation of the cherubic creativity if the words with which this creativity is expressed are wrong.

I can already sense (even in this as yet unpublished thought) the heckles rising on the backs of my readers' necks..."who does she think she is?"..."what a snob"... Sure. I know. Spelling is tricky. Some people just can't spell. Heard it. I know.

But I'm sorry. Spelling DOES matter. In my examples below, of course I understand that the Amphitheatre referred to in the sign is the Northcote Amphitheatre. After all, it's in Northcote. Does the fact that it is spelled incorrectly impede my progress to the Northcote Amphitheatre? Probably not.

 And, well, what can I say? Attached is a hard word to get right...lots of other people on the internet spelled it this way, it's not only the of City Port Phillip who have an attachment issue. There are a lot of entries in Urban Dictionary where all sorts of attachments are referred to and they all have an extra 't', like a judeo-christian flourish in the apex of the word. 

Then there's the old apostrophe s. It's a tricky rule. I understand. But basically, if there is more than one parma, and the word becomes plural, you just add an 's'. Pretty much the same as steaks on the sign on the right. Perhaps it's the fact that parma is an abbreviated form of an italian word...would that make an apostrophe an appropriate choice? Um. Let me think about it. No. Unless the parma is owning something...the parma's crust was particularly crunchy or the parma's fat content was enough to make a grown man cry, then there should be no apostrophe. Or if the parma is going to do something and you want to shorten 'the parma is going to give me a heart attack' to 'the parma's going to give me a heart attack', then you could use an apostrophe. But I don't think that's what is going on in this sign. What I especially love about these signs is that the people went to the signwriter, paid him or her the money, the sign got made into a weather-proof, enduring canvas-type advertisement and everyone looked at STEAKS (with no apostrophe) and PARMA's (with an apostrophe) and thought, great job, she'll be apples. Or she'll be attatched to apple's somewhere in the norht...

Spelling matters.